Getting married? Have a money talk now.

While you may meet with your religious advisor to discuss your spiritual commitment and the sanctity of marriage, your commitment to each other is actually being made on many levels. You are committing physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and financially to each other. Five facets of commitment are like five facets of a star: Each part is critical to the success of the whole.

The financial part is the component of the total commitment that is most often neglected in the many stages of connecting two people together. All components are necessary to achieve a successful long-term union/marriage/life together. But it is the financial piece of the puzzle that people prepare for the least and can have a spiraling impact on the integrity of the “star” or union.

Why do couples avoid discussion finances?

·      In many families, money is a taboo topic.

·      People avoid discussing money.

·      People avoid addressing money problems together.

·      Sometimes one person is hiding an issue from the other.

·      Sometimes one person is mismanaging finances or credit.

·      Sometimes one person is embarrassed by his or her bad decisions, purchases, or problems.

·      Sometimes a person is embarrassed by his or her family’s money and debt history or a bankruptcy.

·      Sometimes one person is in denial about outstanding debts and loans.

·      Sometimes ego is involved.

·      Sometimes unequal earnings and/or power in the relationship leads one person to make assumptions about the handling of money.

·      Lack of money by one party or abundance by one party can cause tension.

·      Some individuals define themselves by their money habits.

·      Others use money to control another.